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  • Originally posted by iantz View Post
    I object to this post. It's factually incorrect. No one believes in Satan OR the Lord. This incorrect info must be in breach of the forum rules.

    On another note: didn't you listen to Thompson's speech MLC? He said he was set up. of course he wouldn't spend a poor man's union fees on hookers. I don't know why you don't believe him. Shame on you...
    I did listen to his speech. At one stage I was expecting him to blame Abbott for the GFC and Joolias droopy ear lobes. I do love politics, isn't it amazing how Thomo hasn't been stood down, kicked out and pushed on, I wonder if the balance of power has anything to do with it? Nah, silly cynical me, that just makes no sense at all. And the latest is Mr Kevin Rudd (Krud, for short) may yet be making another challenge. Its like the situation you find yourself in when you aciidently walk in poop. Thesmell just wont go and the stuff sticks to your shoe better than super glue.

    For those with kiddies, the poop analogy will easily be understood. Jsut say poopies or number 2's as they relate better.
    [B][COLOR=blue]Bitumen: A blatant waste of taxpayers money![/COLOR][/B]
    [URL="http://www.pradopoint.com/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=12197&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=d"]My rig buildup[/URL] [URL="http://www.pradopoint.com/album.php?albumid=141"]Mundaring Power Lines Jan 01[/URL] [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuQmi3Tgoe0&feature=feedu=d"]You Tube Video Morgan Quarry[/URL]

    Comment


    • Originally posted by REV View Post
      Hey MLC,

      Are you sure your not a politician cause you sure do write like a politician speaks
      Easy to see I'm not labor, not once did I say "sorry".
      [B][COLOR=blue]Bitumen: A blatant waste of taxpayers money![/COLOR][/B]
      [URL="http://www.pradopoint.com/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=12197&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=d"]My rig buildup[/URL] [URL="http://www.pradopoint.com/album.php?albumid=141"]Mundaring Power Lines Jan 01[/URL] [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuQmi3Tgoe0&feature=feedu=d"]You Tube Video Morgan Quarry[/URL]

      Comment


      • Originally posted by MidLifeCrisis View Post
        Easy to see I'm not labor, not once did I say "sorry".

        And nor should you!

        Well done mate.

        Comment


        • I assume Jon was concerned about breaking the tenet 'innocent until proven guilty', at least I hope he was... What annoys me though is the number of politicians who take the opportunity to push the boundaries using parliamentary privilege as the antidote for being litigated. If you don't have the balls to say it in public don't say it. The sooner that little opportunity is closed the better. Queenslanders will know better what I am talking about. Parliamentary privilege was only introduced to allow commoners to comment on the acts of the King which otherwise would have seen them tried and hanged for treason. Not applicable to this or any other case that I have heard of here.
          My 150 build - http://www.pradopoint.com/showthread.php?27423-A-Random-approach-to-a-Bluestorm-150-GXL-D4D-automatic

          Comment


          • Little Johnny was asked in class; if there were three crows sitting on the fence and your father shoots one how many were left?
            None he replied. No Johnny there would be two left. No miss because one would be shot and the other two would fly away.
            The teacher thinks about it for a second and says thats not the answer I was looking for but I like the way you're thinking.
            Johnny say that he wants to ask the teacher a question now and when she agrees he says If there are three ladies sitting on a bench eating ice creams, one's licking it, one's biting it and one's sucking it, which one is married.
            The one sucking it I suppose says the teacher.
            Johnny says, Nah the one wearing the wedding ring but I like the way you're thinking.

            I have nothing for the children.

            Comment


            • Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

              Two days before the group is to leave, Nick's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.

              Nick's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

              Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Nick sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.

              "Shit Nick, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

              "Well, I've been here since yesterday evening. I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who?'"

              I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie. She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom.. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Now do whatever you want."

              SO HERE I AM!!!
              Paul
              2003 V6 Auto Grande Pearl White

              Comment


              • Julia Gillard met with the Queen in England . She asked her, "Your
                Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

                "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

                Julia frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

                The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to
                answer an intelligent riddle."

                The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send David Cameron in here, would you?"

                David Cameron walked into the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

                The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, David, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

                Without pausing for a moment, David Cameron answered, "That would be me."

                "Yes! Very good," said the Queen.

                Julia went back home to Australia and asked Wayne Swan, her Deputy Prime Minister the same question.

                " Wayne , answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

                "I'm not sure," said Wayne . "Let me get back to you on that one." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer.

                Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Tony Abbott's shoes in the next stall.
                Wayne asked, "Tony, can you answer this for me? Your mother and Father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

                Tony yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"

                Wayne smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Julia.

                "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's

                Tony Abbott"

                Julia got up, stomped over to Swan, and angrily yelled into his face,

                "No, You idiot! It's the English Prime Minister, David Cameron!"
                2003 GXL 4L V6. Sovereign bullbar, Prorack P-Bar roof-rack with basket, Oricom UHF-280, Uniden AT-870 antenna, SCA 100W spotlights.

                Comment


                • An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:

                  "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

                  The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

                  "There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."

                  The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.
                  However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

                  "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

                  "And what is that?" asked the priest.

                  "Should I tell her the war is over?''

                  Comment


                  • FROGS

                    Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a jumping competition.

                    The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

                    A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

                    The race began....

                    Honestly:

                    No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

                    You heard statements such as:

                    'Oh, WAY too difficult!!'

                    'They will NEVER make it to the top.'

                    or:

                    'Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!'

                    The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

                    Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

                    The crowd continued to yell, 'It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!'

                    More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

                    But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

                    This one wouldn't give up!


                    At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

                    THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?


                    A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

                    It turned out....

                    That the winner was DEAF!!!!

                    The wisdom of this story is:

                    Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

                    Always think of the power words have.

                    Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

                    Therefore:

                    ALWAYS be.... POSITIVE!

                    And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfil your dreams!

                    Comment


                    • 71. (May 12, 1937 = June 22, 2008)

                      George Carlin's Views on Ageing

                      Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about ageing that you think in fractions.

                      'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
                      You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

                      'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

                      But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

                      You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone..

                      But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

                      So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
                      You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

                      You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

                      Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

                      HOW TO STAY YOUNG

                      1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'

                      2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

                      3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

                      4. Enjoy the simple things.

                      5 Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

                      6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

                      7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

                      8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

                      9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

                      10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

                      AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :

                      Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. (Toyota Service) LMAO
                      *
                      Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

                      Don’t go after A person, Let them come after You

                      Keep all your friends close

                      Make shore people like you for who you are and not what you have be come!

                      Say what you want to say

                      Be your self always!!! No matter how silly you are

                      Comment


                      • Bill Gates gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

                        Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

                        Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

                        Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

                        Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

                        Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

                        Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

                        Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

                        Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

                        Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

                        Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

                        Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

                        If you don't agree stick your head in the sand and take a deep breath!
                        If you can read this -Thank a teacher! Lol

                        Comment


                        • Subject: Jokes for the ladies The Why's of Men

                          1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
                          (because they are plugged into a genius)

                          2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
                          (they don't have enough time)

                          3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
                          (they don't stop to ask directions)

                          4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
                          (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)

                          5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
                          (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

                          6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
                          (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

                          7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
                          (don't know.....it never happened)

                          8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
                          (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

                          One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
                          'It depends,' She replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
                          He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma.'
                          ----------------------------------
                          A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
                          'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
                          The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
                          ----------------------------------
                          'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
                          'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
                          ----------------------------------
                          Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
                          A: A rumour
                          ----------------------------------
                          Dear Lord,
                          I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
                          AMEN
                          ----------------------------------
                          Q: Why do little boys whine?
                          A: They are practicing to be men.
                          ----------------------------------
                          Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
                          A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
                          ----------------------------------
                          Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
                          A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

                          Comment


                          • The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' (Let alone a Trillion!) in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.

                            A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of.

                            Approx:

                            A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

                            A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

                            A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the stone age.

                            A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

                            A billion dollars ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.

                            Building Permit Tax
                            Cigarette Tax
                            Corporate Income Tax
                            Income Tax
                            GST
                            Fishing License Tax
                            Food License Tax
                            Fuel Permit Tax
                            Petrol/Diesel Tax
                            Hunting License Tax
                            Inheritance Tax
                            Inventory Tax (tax on top of tax)
                            Liquor Tax
                            Luxury Tax
                            Marriage Licence Tax
                            Property Tax
                            Real Estate Tax
                            Service charge taxes
                            Capital gains Tax
                            Social Security Tax
                            Road Usage Tax
                            Local Tax
                            Vehicle License Registration Tax
                            Vehicle Sales Tax
                            Workers Compensation Tax
                            Carbon Tax

                            STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

                            Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
                            and our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world.

                            We had absolutely no national debt...
                            We had the largest middle class in the world...
                            And Mum could stay home to raise the kids.

                            Mmmmmm.... What happened?

                            Comment


                            • An Irishman drinking in a bar in London, takes a call on his mobile phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
                              Nobody can believe that any baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, however the man just shrugs "That's about average up our way, folks. Like I said - my boy is a typical County Clare baby boy".
                              Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says "Say, arn't you the father of of that 'typical' Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth?. Everybody's been making bets about how big he would be in 2 weeks. How much does he way now?. "Seventeen pounds" answers the proud father.
                              The bartender looks dumbstruck. "What happened? You claimed he was 25 pounds the day he was born". The father takes a swig of whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans in to the bartender and proudly announced:


                              ".....had him circumcised!"

                              Comment


                              • .................................................. ........
                                Last edited by Liftman; 05-06-2012, 06:10 PM. Reason: double post

                                Comment

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