Went to a Muslim birthday party last week. Musical chairs was a bit slow, but buggerme , pass the parcel was quick!!!
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
I'm not a racist, racism is crime , and crime is for black people.
I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said that I had to stop masturbating. When I asked her why she said "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
I parked in a disabled space today and the traffic warden shouted, Oi, what's your disability? I said "Tourettes! Now "truck off you munt"!"
My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day, she looked at me and said "Make love to me like in the movies" So I (insert your imagination here). I guess we don't watch the same movies.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him , what's up Abdul, won't it start?"
A man walks into a petrol station and says, " Can I please have a Kit Kat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a Kit Kat Chunky and brings it back to him. NO says the man's, "I wanted a normal Kit Kat you fat bitch"
PS, I know, I know, 2 weeks in the PP sin bin........
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
I'm not a racist, racism is crime , and crime is for black people.
I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said that I had to stop masturbating. When I asked her why she said "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
I parked in a disabled space today and the traffic warden shouted, Oi, what's your disability? I said "Tourettes! Now "truck off you munt"!"
My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day, she looked at me and said "Make love to me like in the movies" So I (insert your imagination here). I guess we don't watch the same movies.
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him , what's up Abdul, won't it start?"
A man walks into a petrol station and says, " Can I please have a Kit Kat Chunky?" The lady behind the till gets him a Kit Kat Chunky and brings it back to him. NO says the man's, "I wanted a normal Kit Kat you fat bitch"
PS, I know, I know, 2 weeks in the PP sin bin........
Comment