Fork in hell - the opposite of spooning

[ntp Addicted PP Member Find all posts View Profile Close ntp]

THIS IS NOT FICTION

Sometimes you've just got to wonder what might have been going through someone's mind.

Fork stuck in man's penis after bizarre sexual mishap

The 70-year-old arrived at the Canberra Hospital emergency department with a bleeding sexual organ.

He told doctors he had inserted the 10cm dining fork into his urethra almost 12 hours earlier in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification. But the utensil became stuck.Advertisement
The fork was not visible but doctors were able to feel it from the outside and X-rays showed its position.

Why did it take 12 hours to get to hospital. Well... I can only imagine it takes that long to come up with a story such as... 'Well Doctor, I was just setting the table for dinner when, you wouldn't believe it... "

[D4D Addicted PP Member Find all posts View Profile Close D4D]

You need to start an 'Only in CBR' thread

[ntp Addicted PP Member Find all posts View Profile Close ntp]

Was just thinking... maybe he was eating at a club and sitting in the dining area which had a sign near his table, "For Members Only", and took it a little too literally.

[Bushbasher Out of control poster! Find all posts View Profile Close Bushbasher]

What was his name - Peter Slipper?

[ntp Addicted PP Member Find all posts View Profile Close ntp]

Richard Cuttlery?

[D4Dforme Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close D4Dforme]

Well I've heard of the Pork Sword........I suppose this is just the Pork Fork?....

Canberra hey?..........home of the new Bizzare food eating experience?

Dan

[baggs71 Inactive member. Find all posts View Profile Close baggs71]

This is gold....almost as good as my intelligence report in east timor up on the border in 2001....a jordanian soldier was sent home tocjordan after a few days stay in the military run dili hospital....the cause of injury was a torn groin....upon investigation on the sequence of event by an inspection officer...it came about he was has sexual intercourse with a goat..but the goat did not like it so gave him a good kick.yep this is not a misprint...a bloody goat!....well you may want to ask why he was sent home when he had in fact recovered from said injuries???? Well it turns out its a big NO NO in jordan if its not legaly accepted its your goat....hahhaaha...this is a very true intel report disseminated down to each organization within the battle group on the day I had to give it...so yep..fair dinkum...gives new meaning to a nice spit roast...

[kav Avid PP Poster! Find all posts View Profile Close kav]

Dude , seriously , just go to the Philippines like all the other depraved , tightarsed old codgers

[rags Advanced Member Find all posts View Profile Close rags]

Maybe he would have been better going with chinese ,at least the chop stick would be easier to retrieve.

[JPH Advanced Member Find all posts View Profile Close JPH]

Brings a whole new perspective to the saying "I'd rather stick a fork in my eye"!!

[farmernz Member Find all posts View Profile Close farmernz]

thats forking funny. infact thats not very knife at all.

[kav Avid PP Poster! Find all posts View Profile Close kav]

At least he didn't do a Hutchence on the back of a door

[kav Avid PP Poster! Find all posts View Profile Close kav]

Hell of a way to eat peas

[yowie Advanced Member Find all posts View Profile Close yowie]

A few years after I left high school (many years ago now) I bumped into one of my class mates. She was a nurse at Sutherland Hospital.

She told me a few funny stories. One was a bloke who attended the emergency department with a medium sized Coca Cola stuck up his arse, stubby end first. He was hanging on to the neck of the bottle when it became slippery and slipped out of his hand and 'slipped' up his arse.

Another was a bloke who had a hunting knife inside a sheath stuck up his arse.


My wife told me a story told to her by a paramedic friend. (also Sutherland Hospital) A husband and his wife were helping each other with the cooking in the kitchen, when the wife decided to give the husband a 'head job'. The husband dropped his pants down to his knees and the wife started the entertainment.

Halfway through, the wife had an epileptic fit, and latched rather tightly with her teeth onto his old fella. He could not extract his old fella from the chattering teeth, and with his pants around his knees, he could not move too far away. He grabbed the nearest thing on the bench, which was a frying pan, and hit his wife over the head with it, which made her open her mouth, and knocked her out. Both husband and wife needed an ambulance to attend hospital with their injuries, and the paramedic recorded the incident in official records as "Head injuries to husband and wife."

[120D4D Avid PP Poster! Find all posts View Profile Close 120D4D]

Honestly, you fuc% one goat and you're labelled for life.

When said jordanian's mates recount this story in years to come he'll no doubt interject "GHOST, THEY MEANT GHOST..."