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  • DATING IN THE 60s. Remember those days ?

    It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1963, and James had a date with Annabella.

    He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

    'Oh, come on in!' Annabella's mother said as she welcomed James.

    'Have a seat in the sitting room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Tea?'

    'Tea, please,' James said. Mum brought the tea.

    'So, what are you and Annabella planning to do tonight?' she asked interestedly.

    'Oh, probably go to the flicks and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the coffee bar, perhaps have a walk on the beach afterwards.'

    'Annabella likes to screw, you know,' Mum informed him.

    'Really?' James gasped, surprised to say the least.

    'Oh yes,' mother continued, 'When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!'

    'Is that so?' asked James, incredulously.

    ' Oh yes,' she said. 'As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!'

    'Phew! Well, thanks for the tip!' James said as he began thinking about alternative plans for the evening.

    A moment later, Annabella came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture, wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt
    and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail.

    She greeted James.

    'Have fun, kids!' mother said as they left.

    Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Annabella burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.

    'The Twist, Mum!' she yelled angrily to her mother in the kitchen.

    'The bloody dance is called the ......Twist!'
    2011 Prado 150 SX T/D Auto - Glacier White, with many extras.
    My Rig Build Up - [url]http://www.pradopoint.com/showthread.php?21609-Bassett-s-150-SX[/url]
    Now living the Dream !!

    Comment


    • OOPS !! double post.
      2011 Prado 150 SX T/D Auto - Glacier White, with many extras.
      My Rig Build Up - [url]http://www.pradopoint.com/showthread.php?21609-Bassett-s-150-SX[/url]
      Now living the Dream !!

      Comment


      • CONFUCIUS DIDN'T SAY.....

        Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.

        Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

        Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

        Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

        Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

        Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

        Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

        War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

        Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

        It takes many nails to build a crib, but on e screw to fill it.

        Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

        Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

        Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

        Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

        Finally, CONFUCIUS didn't SAY. . .

        "A Lion would not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood."
        Sold the Prado. Now FJ Cruiser

        Comment


        • Lady: Do you drink?

          Man: Yes.

          Lady: How much a day?

          Man: Three 6 packs.

          Lady: How much per 6 pack?

          Man: About $10.00.

          Lady: And how long have you been drinking?

          Man: 15 years.

          Lady: So one 6 pack costs $10.00, and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10,800 correct?

          Man: Correct.

          Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000 correct?

          Man: Correct.

          Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't drank, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

          Man: Do you drink?

          Lady: No.

          Man: Where's your f#%ing Ferrari then?
          June 2009 GXL D4D Auto,Hardtoget White ,Shocks,40 mm lift,BFG 70s,Snorkel,Batteries,Radio,
          Rear Airbags,TJM Alloy Bar,Challenge Camper Trailer,Offroad Systems alloy draws,Dogbone Spacer, Engel on the lefthand side, 240 Blitz's, Redarc brake controller,Red devil Compressor,mechanical Locka,Chipit, Pacemaker 3" exhaust....

          Comment


          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBM1U81EEOg

            Thought this was pretty funny

            Comment


            • THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
              We Must Stop This Immediately!
              Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is further away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
              And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
              I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
              I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
              Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
              Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
              I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

              All I can do is pass along this warning:
              WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

              Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

              PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
              PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.
              Sold the Prado. Now FJ Cruiser

              Comment


              • The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
                Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on
                productive salesmanship.

                Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she
                said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil
                spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very
                good," said the teacher.

                Little Mary was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I
                explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current
                events.” "Very good, Mary" said the teacher.

                Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.
                Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box
                full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried
                the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

                "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

                "Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell
                enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

                "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny. "I set up a
                Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample." They
                all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!" Then I
                would say, “It is dog shit. Wanna' buy a toothbrush?" "I used the
                Gillard approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then
                making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth."
                [B]White D4D GXL auto Mickey Thompson ATZ 4 rib 265/70 R17, Genuine towbar, OME Suspension, ARB Sahara bar, Safari Snorkel, Icom 440N UHF, Rhino sportz bars, redarc BCDC1240 dual battery system, Drifta drawer setup, headlight upgrade.....more to come....[/B]
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                Comment


                • Originally posted by Jon View Post
                  THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
                  We Must Stop This Immediately!
                  Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is further away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
                  And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?
                  I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
                  I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
                  Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
                  Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
                  I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

                  All I can do is pass along this warning:
                  WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

                  Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

                  PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
                  PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.
                  All that sounds true Jon, but on the positive side i am getting much stronger as I get older!

                  When I was 18 I could grab hold of my old fella with 2 hands and there was no way I was strong enough to bend it, nowadays I can bend it with one hand no worries. It really is amazing how much stronger I am now

                  Cheers Andrew
                  [COLOR="#FF0000"]So Long and Thanks for all the Fish![/COLOR]

                  [url=http://www.4wdadventurers.com/showthread.php?3840-AJ-s-120-Prado]MY PRADO AND DIY CAMPER TRAILER[/url]

                  [url=http://www.4wdadventurers.com/showthread.php?3975-AJ-s-79-series-Cruiser-Ute]MY HZJ79 Landcrusier[/url]


                  [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

                  Comment


                  • Did I read that sign right?


                    In an office:
                    TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW


                    In a Laundromat:
                    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE
                    LIGHT GOES OUT

                    In a London department store:
                    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

                    In an office:
                    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT
                    BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

                    In an office:
                    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
                    THE DRAINING BOARD

                    Outside a secondhand shop:
                    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
                    YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

                    Notice in health food shop window:
                    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

                    Spotted in a safari park:
                    ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

                    Seen during a conference:
                    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE
                    ON THE 1ST FLOOR

                    Notice in a farmer's field:
                    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

                    On a repair shop door:
                    WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
                    Sold the Prado. Now FJ Cruiser

                    Comment


                    • Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.

                      "What's your name?" asked the teacher.
                      "Mohammad," he replied.
                      "You're in Australia now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin."
                      Mohammad returned home after school.

                      "How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.
                      "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Australia and now my name is Kevin."
                      "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
                      And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.
                      The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Kevin?” she asked.
                      "Well miss, shortly after becoming an Australian, I was attacked by two ****** Arabs."
                      Sold the Prado. Now FJ Cruiser

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Jon View Post
                        Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school.

                        "What's your name?" asked the teacher.
                        "Mohammad," he replied.
                        "You're in Australia now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Kevin."
                        Mohammad returned home after school.

                        "How was your day, Mohammad?" his mother asked.
                        "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Australia and now my name is Kevin."
                        "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!"
                        And his mother beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again.
                        The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Kevin?” she asked.
                        "Well miss, shortly after becoming an Australian, I was attacked by two ****** Arabs."
                        You have no shortage of jokes jon!

                        Comment


                        • Computer Tech Support

                          Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
                          Customer: A black one...

                          ===============
                          Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my disc out.
                          Tech support: Have you tried pushing the release button?
                          Customer: Yes, sure; the tray comes out but there's nothing in it.
                          Tech support: Does disc content show up on your screen?
                          Customer: ...Oh! ...wait a minute..... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

                          ===============

                          Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on the left of the screen.
                          Customer: Your left or my left?

                          ===============

                          Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
                          Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
                          Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
                          Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

                          ===============
                          Customer: Hi, good afternoon, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer over and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...

                          ============== =
                          Customer: I have problems printing in red.
                          Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
                          Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.

                          ===============

                          Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
                          Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the carnival.
                          ===============

                          Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
                          Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
                          Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer..
                          Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk to the other side of the room.
                          Customer: OK
                          Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
                          Customer: Yes
                          Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
                          Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work.

                          ===============

                          Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the numbers 7274.
                          Customer: Is the 7274 in capital letters?

                          == =============
                          Customer: I can't open Yahoo calendar.
                          Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
                          Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
                          Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
                          Customer: Yes... five stars.
                          ===============

                          Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
                          Customer: Hotmail.
                          Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program..
                          Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

                          ===============

                          Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
                          Tech support: ....Who the hell transfered this call to me???

                          ===============

                          Tech support: How may I help you?
                          Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
                          Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
                          Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
                          ===============

                          A customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with his printer.
                          Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
                          Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that's a good point. The guy sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
                          ===============

                          And last but not least...

                          Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now hit the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
                          Customer: I don't have a P.
                          Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
                          Customer: What do you mean?
                          Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

                          Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT !
                          Paul
                          2003 V6 Auto Grande Pearl White

                          Comment


                          • Have to get a laugh out of this!!!!
                            Attached Files
                            Paul
                            2003 V6 Auto Grande Pearl White

                            Comment


                            • DOG FOR SALE :




                              A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.


                              The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

                              'You talk?' he asks.

                              'Yep,' the Lab replies.

                              After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

                              The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA.

                              In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'


                              'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...

                              But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

                              I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'


                              'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

                              The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

                              'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

                              'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

                              'Because he's a Bullshitter. He's never been out of the yard'
                              Sold the Prado. Now FJ Cruiser

                              Comment


                              • The power of prayer








                                A preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."
                                With that, an Aboriginal man got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Mulrunji, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Mulrunji replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Mulrunji's ear, placed his other hand on top of Mulrunji's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed to the 'Almighty' for Mulrunji, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.


                                After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Mulrunji, how is your hearing now?"

                                Mulrunji answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til next week at Dubbo court !!!
                                Sold the Prado. Now FJ Cruiser

                                Comment

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